Sometimes you miss your ex. You miss the little things and start to reminisce. You miss how they looked at you like you were the most precious thing on earth. Or how they said your name. Or how nice it felt to have them in your arms. It aches. You want those feelings back. So you pick up your phone and dial their number…..you’re about to press send and then it all comes back. The deceit, manipulation and disrespect. And it stings like a b*+ch. You remember how they made you feel like you were all they needed but they were telling somebody else the exact same thing. You remember how they wouldn’t let you leave them because “they need you” and “they love you” and “they’ll change”. And you remember how you stayed and they didn’t change, show their so-called love and need for you. You feel the anxiety build up in your chest, adrenaline swimming uncomfortably in your belly. Your mouth runs dry and you feel a bulb of anger build up in your throat. You realize how going back to them would be signing up for the exact same treatment. And then you don’t. You don’t call them because they don’t deserve your honesty, loyalty and devotion. They just don’t.
I wrote this song to wake myself up. I hope it wakes you up too.